C'est la vie:anybody tell me what's the difference?From a high cliff i fell, all the way down within a second...Climbing up is a tedious task, and I don't want to continue this journey. What if i fall again? The fact is, I had never gotten up the cliff since my last fall. I don't want to climb on. It's tiring, and I never succeed. I don't wanna end up falling again. For normal human beings, once bitten thrice shy, me? I' m never shy. No sense of shame??? maybe. No matter how many times i will reach the top i will definitely fall again. Since young, how many times had I fallen and injuried my legs? I can't count, just too many or much, rather since I did say I can't count.Everything is changing, everything, are they changes for the better? Why must there always be a choice? Why must there be pros and cons to everything? Why....Like I did mention, many a times and oft(found in MOV btw), I fall, and I will be very sad over my fall, concerned over disfiguring myself yada yada, yet I do get up and continue on the journey. But this time? Will it be possible again? Even if i go to njc, everything would be the same, this time of eoys i did try my best, I really can't go beyond this. Yet, i can predict the results, it will still be the same. Even if i go to njc, everything will continue going downwards. All the way down. The speed of falling is increasing and my body is aching all because of the pull of gravity. In the end, the same thing will just happen again.Going to njc would mean suffocating myself to death(slow, painful death)Staying in dhp would mean jumping off a building (fast, easy, painless)Yet, while suffocating yourself, there will be a short period of time, just before the death, when your mind would be blank. Nothing goes through your mind. Not even the darkness. That is happiness.So, to me, I choose njc, I know it's a dead end. Yet I'm walking straight there. Which path now is not a dead end? None. There's no other way out. Perhaps suffocating to death may be good.At that time, I would probably be kicked out of njc, going to some japulang jcs/secondary and start taking 'N's or 'O's or if I'm lucky, 'A's. Heh, by then, I would probably have nothing to worry about and easily bleed myself to death, or perhaps, burst my artery(ies)? Slow and painful death, yet, before I die, I will enjoy a period of happiness, that is at njc.In dunman high, quick swift and painless death. Hope that you guys realise that I cannot afford to lose and more than that, to lose my confidence, once I lost(or rather fail in my expectations) and lost my confidence, I can NEVER gain them back again. It would be hard. Serious. Like I had mentioned earlier, I know my EOYs results would make no difference as compared to my last yr's results. So, even if i were to stay in DHP, I would be stuck at some subject combis which nobody would want. That, is my death penalty. At least in njc, there's no such things as subject combi.So, that is my immediate death.Which one do you think I would choose? Yes no doubt, suffocating to death is more deadly, more painful and slower process, but there. I've decided to suffocate myself to death, nobody shall change my mind...You guys can ignore me, it's just one whole chunk of spaces... lolx..I see spaces between us,that is how I know you....lolx(titanic)Argh, myth is such a nice movie, guys must go catch it k???!?Arh, I'm so looking forward to 2nd of november!!!Anyway, enjoy your holidays!!
lu
12:50 PM
